I grew up the oldest of three brothers — wrestling in the backyard, competing hard, loving deeply. I learned early how to strive, how to lead, how to do good work.
Discipline and drive were natural to me and success and achievement came easily.
What I didn’t know was how much of my striving was fueled by a quiet belief:
“If I perform well enough, I will belong.
If I achieve enough, I will be worthy.”
By the time I graduated with honors at Northwestern University, on track for medical school, I was well on the way to accomplishing what I set out to accomplish years earlier.
And yet one summer afternoon I realized something that changed everything:
“I’ve never worked harder in my life and felt less fulfilled.”
At that point, this realization had been some time coming.
I was burned out and disconnected from myself.
That moment was a threshold.
I saw clearly that…
achievement alone did not create wholeness.
Success did not equal intimacy.
Discipline did not equal self-love.
I also learned that in all my striving to do life “right” I was missing my true self constantly - over-riding the wisdom of my heart with the “should and strategy” of the mind.
I knew something needed to change.
I had to face what I had avoided.
Fear of the unknown.
Unworthiness and self-doubt.
The need to perform
The ache for true belonging.
I longed to really KNOW my true and authentic self.
So I stepped into the unknown.
Though it was terrifying to my ego I chose not to pursue medical school and I let go of an identity I had spent two decades building. And in that space — without the structure of external success.
That decision led me inward into meditation, into ancient practice centers, and eventually into an immersion in a Zen Buddhist monastery. There, I began to understand something foundational:
Lasting fulfillment doesn’t come from achieving more
It comes from Embodying MORE of who you REALLY are - from living in alignment with the depth of you and letting this create ripples in every area of your life
Wherever you go, There you are.
The truth is the most durable thing you have in your life is the relationship you have with your Self. The quality of your relationship with yourself is the MOST IMPORTANT source of fulfillment, power, and the well-spring of truly aligned (and more powerful) creativity.
Progress isn’t determined by how much we acquire but by how much we let go of and who we become through on the journey of life.
Objects and achievements come and go. Every time we let go an old version of ourselves in order for the new version of us to step forward we invite in a new level of aliveness, depth, and intimacy!
Success wears many faces and ultimately emerges from your willingness to author your life and love each moment of your journey.
No one can tell you what success is. It is, however, your unique privilege and responsibility to define success for yourself. This has the potential to bring you into greater aliveness, authenticity, and consciousness or dullness and self-suppression.
